When and if you go to a premarital counselor what premarital counseling questions will the counselor ask? Will they be personal questions? Will they be difficult questions? Will they be embarrassing questions? A counselor could ask any type of premarital counseling questions, but most of the time he/she will ask those questions that will help you prepare for marriage.

The following areas should be addressed when premarital counseling questions are asked:

• Communication
• Conflict Resolution
• Expectations in Marriage
• Personality Points
• Finances
• Sexual Expectations
• Children and Parenting
• Spirituality
• Roles in Marriage
• Leisure Activities

Premarital counseling questions in communication

• When a problem arises, how does my partner communicate?
• I could use more or less talking from my partner and how specifically?
• How is my partner a good listener or not?

Premarital counseling questions in conflict resolution

• How does your partner settle an argument?
• Do you feel understood when you have an argument with your partner?
• When you think about your conflict, how often does it seem like nothing ever gets resolved?

Premarital counseling questions in marital expectations

• Is this person the only one with whom you could be happy and what happens if he/she passes away?
• Is your partner responsible for your happiness and, if he/she is, how will he/she do that?
• What, if anything, needs to change in your partner and what will happen if he/she cannot change?

Premarital counseling questions in personality issues

• What kind of temper/mood does your partner have and can you live with it?
• Are there some habits that you partner has that you don’t like?
• What are some things that your partner does that embarrasses you and what will happen if they do not change?

Premarital counseling questions in finances

• How exactly have you discussed your financial situation?
• Does my partner have some debt that concerns me?
• Who will make the decisions and what decisions will be made after marriage?

Premarital counseling questions in sexual expectations

• Are you comfortable talking about sexuality with your partner?
• Do you feel like your partner gives you the affection you feel you need?
• Does your partner sometimes use sex as a weapon or as a way to manipulate you?

Premarital counseling questions in children and parenting

• What are the responsibilities of each parent in raising a child?
• How many children will we have?
• How did your family raise you and your other brothers and sisters?

Premarital counseling questions in spirituality

• How will we specifically exercise our spiritual beliefs, if at all?
• Will we share our spiritual beliefs with our children or with others?
• How can spirituality help our relationship to grow?

Premarital counseling questions roles in marriage

• Who will do what around the house
• What adjustments will each make to accommodate the other after marriage?
• Who will have a more persuasive voice, if so, and in what area(s)?

Premarital counseling questions leisure activities

• Do we enjoy the same activities and what are those that we enjoy the most?
• Am I happy with the amount of leisure time we spend together?
• Is your partner more social than you and does he/she seem to need this interaction more than you?

These areas should be addressed by your counselor. If he/she does not bring them up, you should.

If you would like to have more premarital counseling questions, if you would like to discuss these questions with a qualified premarital assessor/counselor, or if you are simply curious, please call 317 713 1130 or go to the “Contact” tab.

Some of these questions were adapted from Brady B. Forman’s “Discussion Guide for Prepare/Enrich.”

One of the better books with exceptional questions to discuss with your partner.

Click on the book to the left for more information on it.

Also, the book to the left by Monica Mendez Leahy is a great start for couples. You will find questions like the following:

Does your partner feel that you’re too attached to your parents?
Is there such a thing as innocent flirting?
Is it OK to cheat on your taxes?
Is there such a thing as innocent flirting?
Do you both want children?
How important is religion in your life?
Do you think couples should share the same political views?