1. Expensive. The first danger of premarital counseling is that it can be expensive. You can expect to pay about $100 a session with a counselor and you will usually have about 5 sessions. That is a total of about $500 which is not cheap. Our assessments start at a fraction of that cost…$18!

2. Fixing “problems.” Your relationship may not be broken and may not need to be fixed. Much of counseling is based on a medical model – there is something wrong that needs to be fixed. Your life and relationship might be doing very well and you may not need to address any personal or relational problems at this time. We help you focus on your strengths and not totally on what is wrong in the relationship.

3. Embarrassing. You have to sit in front of someone who you don’t know and divulge your personal life which can be a danger of premarital counseling for some. Sometimes the counselor is warm and inviting, sometimes not. With our services, you can receive a report on your relationship and never see or talk to us, but if you need assistance we are only a phone call away.

4. Unqualified “counselors.” Many “premarital counselors” are not qualified for premarital counseling. While they mean well, many pastors and other officials have not had family and marriage training or education. Our assessors are licensed marriage and family therapists and/or they have master’s degrees in marriage and family therapy and/or they are at least completing their degree in counseling.

5. Time. Many couples who attend premarital counseling have already made their decision to be married, so another danger of premarital counseling is that you may not be making the best use of your time. We help your decision to be stronger in a fraction of the time so that you can work more on other things.

6. Focus on the past. Counseling deals with the past and you are looking to the future. Many times counseling involves fixing the damage from the past. We focus on the future.

7. Focus on emotional pain. Counseling deals with feelings and emotions that might include hurt or pain. You need tools and information on your relationship, not a discussion about feelings which can be a danger of premarital counseling. We focus on your personality and abilities, not your feelings.

8. Length of time commitment. Similar to danger #5, you may only have a few months or even weeks before the wedding and some forms of counseling take months to complete. You may simply need some good tools for marriage and not psychotherapy. With us you can receive and print out our inventory results instantly, you don’t have to wait.

9. Psychotherapeutic focus. Much of counseling is based on psychotherapy (Freud and his views on sex and your father/mother issues) and this form of therapy can be a danger of premarital counseling if not done properly. We focus on what is working in your relationship and where you can grow, if you so desire.

10. You must be face to face for counseling. This means that you have to take time to drive and sit in a counseling office. We all have busy schedules, especially those planning for a wedding. You do all of our inventories online and by phone, if desired, and the time commitment is very short.

I do want to say that many forms of counseling are great and very beneficial, after all, most of us, including myself, are counselors. Furthermore, most of these “dangers” can be resolved and there are good reasons why you can make them not dangerous. We simply hope that the premarital couple will be careful when considering premarital counseling.

Contact us for more help – 317-713-1130