1. Define Christian premarital counseling. When someone says that he/she is a Christian premarital counselor, make sure you ask the therapist what he/she means by the word “Christian.” To do this you need to know what defines your partner and you as a Christian so that you will know if the counselor is on your same page. If you are not specific in what a Christian is you will most likely not be specific in what kind of Christian premarital counseling you will have and that is fine. However, if you believe that the title “Christian” requires certain views and even actions, you will want to find a counselor that reflects your beliefs. The use and definition of the word “Christian” is very diverse in our culture and country. Since you want more information on Christian premarital counseling, I would assume you don’t want counseling that uses the word “Christian,” but is no different from secular premarital counseling.

2. Background of the Christian premarital counselor. Just about any counselor can say they are a Christian counselor, but it is important to know where have they received their education. This is vital when you think about trusting a counselor to equip you for one of the most important decisions of your life. It would be a good idea to request Christian premarital counseling from a counselor who has a degree in the Bible or theology. That would only make sense, right? Even going to a “Christian” university or graduate school does not make a “Christian” counselor. Ask where he/she has received his/her Christian education and what they learned that pertains to their faith. If they do not have training in the Bible you might do better seeking your premarital counseling from someone who has. Ask specifics, you have a right to do so and the counselor should answer your questions.

3. Agenda for the Christian premarital counseling sessions. You will want to ask the counselor what is involved in the premarital counseling sessions that makes it Christian. Simply saying that you conduct Christian premarital counseling does not make it so. Does the counselor actually use the Bible in the Christian premarital counseling sessions (The counselor should definitely be using verses from Ephesians 5 and its definition of what a husband and wife should do in marriage, among other important sections)? Does the counselor discuss Christian aspects of marriage? Does the counselor discuss how to help your Christian family to thrive? Does he/she discuss the duties of Christian parents? These are all important topics that should be discussed in the sessions if you want Christian premarital counseling.

4. Measuring the spirituality of the relationship in Christian premarital counseling. A person who is good at Christian premarital counseling should have a tool/assessment/inventory that will indicate spiritual areas of the relationship that are strong and areas that could use some work. We use the PREPARE assessment and it is one of the best tools for couples who want effective Christian premarital counseling. You can take the assessment online and it is then used in the premarital counseling sessions. You will know exactly what to do in your relationship when you get done with the premarital counseling sessions.

5. Credentials for Christian premarital counseling? I do believe that Christian premarital counseling is most effective when done in the church. The church is who supports you, where you worship, and where you will be getting married. However, where has your pastor/clergy person received their relationship counseling? Have they received any training in counseling? While the Bible is sufficient for all things and for all couples, does the pastor know how to use it to prepare the couple for the incredibly important decision they are about to make? A counselor who has been trained in both the Bible and in counseling would be most effective. What if you are marrying in a different church or what if your pastor does not do premarital counseling? You can find many exceptional counselors, outside of the church, who have training in theology and counseling. Is this your pastor or counselor? Ask.

Going for any Christian premarital counseling is an exceptional idea! The point would be that you can get more Christian value with some counselors than with others.

If you ever have any questions, please contact us. It is our pleasure, job, and ministry to help you.
317-660-1604