1. Traditional wedding vows should be believed
The definition of a vow, according to the American Heritage Dictionary, is, “To declare or assert.” Not too difficult to do in your wedding, right. However, if you really want tradition wedding vows then you probably would believe that the definition of a vow is more serious than just speaking something. The word “vow” comes from the word “avow” and it is this second word that carries a more traditional meaning. “Avow” is defined as, “To acknowledge openly…confess.” You are not only declaring or asserting, but you are openly confessing words or phrases before God, your fiancé, and before numbers of other people. Other dictionaries state that a vow, or to avow, must include stating something that is believed to be right. Why this discussion about semantics or meaning? Well, because, you are looking for traditional wedding vows and that means you are most likely traditional also. Traditional people usually keep their word and do what they promise to do. They usually believe what they say.
2. Traditional wedding vows should be agreed upon before making them.
Traditional wedding vows usually include traditional language and beliefs. Sometimes tradition is old fashioned, if you don’t mind calling it that, and old fashioned can be pretty serious about marriage. Most traditional wedding vows include the phrase, “till death do us part” or “as long as we both shall live” and you both should agree on this phrase and belief if you are going to say it to each other. Some people cannot or do not want to say words like this and that is fine. As previously stated, you should vow what you believe and nothing more. Don’t make your vow an empty promise that you cannot keep or that you do not want to keep, this is what makes them traditional wedding vows.
3. Traditional wedding vows should say what you want.
You may want traditional wedding vows, but you can put in or take out some of your own words and it will still be traditional. You are vowing or promising something that should be personal to your partner and to you, so don’t be afraid to change it up a little. There are three versions of traditional wedding vows below and they are very similar. The first is the more traditional vow:
Version 1:
I, ____________ (Bride or Groom), take you, __________________ (Groom or Bride), to be my lawfully wedded _________________ (husband or wife), to have and to hold from this day forward; for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish, till death do us part.
Version 2
I, ____________ (Bride or Groom), do take you, __________________ (Groom or Bride), to be my wedded (husband or wife); to have and to hold from this day forward; for better or worse, for richer or poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish, till death do us part, and to this I promise you my love.
Version 3
I, ____________ (Bride or Groom), take you, __________________ (Groom or Bride); to have and to hold; for richer for poorer, for better for worse, from this day forward, as long as we both shall live. With this ring, I thee wed, and all that I am and all that I have I give to you.
4. Traditional wedding vows should be reviewed after marriage.
One of the best ideas is to ask your wedding officiate for a copy of the wedding ceremony, but especially the vows and what you said during the exchange of rings (sometimes the vows are said during the exchange of rings, so this can be flexible). You have promised a particular few sentences and someone who is looking for traditional wedding vows would most likely want to remember what they vowed. This remembrance helps you to stay true to your wedding day and partner. Many times all is well in times of health, but often we forget our vows during times of sickness. You promised to have and to hold in both times. Also, in this current financial climate, you also promised to have and hold. As you may know, money is the number one problem in marriage so remember, if you are traditional, you should hold your partner while you are watching your 401K disappear.
5. Traditional wedding vows are to be repeated, so make sure you listen to what the wedding officiate is saying while you repeat what he/she is saying.
This might seem like a no brainer, but you would be surprised how many couples are not listening to what they are vowing. During my wedding my pastor, God bless him, said in my vow, “I John, take you Stephanie, to be my lawfully wedded husband…” Did you catch that…maybe not, but he said “husband” instead of “wife!” I caught it and it was funny, but you should take seriously what you are saying. Traditional wedding vows are meant to be said once, traditionally, so be careful. Have fun and good luck in the wonderful tradition of marriage and with your traditional wedding vows!
Check out my articles in